Limits of Our Sight
by belladonnacordial
Summary: COMPLETE I believe I'm dying with the pleasure of this and couldn't care less, thinks Harry who suffers misunderstandings, engages in manipulations, and learns hard truths about true? love. SSHP HPDM SLASH
1. Chapter 1

Set right before the Hall of Mysteries incident, which for the purposes of this story happen in year seven in order to make the SSHP less squicky and problematic.

This further warning is added in response to an amazingly angry review suggesting it is pedophiliac in nature and far too explicit for this website. Personally I disagree on both points. None of my stories are about the victimization of children. 17 is WELL within age of consent where I live. If that differs where you live, or if you live somewhere homosexuality is illegal, do not read this! I do not know what laws exist in the Wizarding World. For the purposes of my story, none are being broken here. The rules of Hogwarts are a different story. Certainly Harry is young. He is a student. He is no innocent victim. If you are looking for that you'll have to look elsewhere. If you are offended by the age difference, the SSHP is and always has been clearly marked as well as the warning SLASH. If you are looking for heterosexual M, as my reviewer Sickened was, I don't know why you would be reading this story in the first place.

Look, I have no wish to offend, not even one person, which is why I label and rate my stories and post all the warnings I can think might apply. While sex is not gratuitous to the plot, I do not consider this explicitly sexual. I have taken pains not to write it as such. In fact the angry review I received was far more explicit and offensive in language and tone than anything contained in this story, in my humble opinion.

So after much agonizing, I have decided that until the administators of this site tell me otherwise, I'm not changing a word nor am I withdrawing this story.

Despite all, Sickened, I appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you think. Know your words have weighed heavily on my soul. If you are offended by sex between CONSENTING same sex partners, you might want to think about not reading SLASH.

This is an angsty slightly AU SS/HP HP/DM. POV shifts a bit- bear with me. I hope you enjoy.

Limits of Our Sight

He makes a monster of me. No. I am a monster. This is not his doing. He came to me desperate to apologize because despite everything he needs me.

He does not need my arms around him or my tongue in his mouth. I made that part and parcel of this- our unspoken agreement. He surrenders himself to the unwanted attention of his hideous, disgusting, aged professor but can not bear to look at me. Why would he want to look? I am as ugly on the outside as I am within. I take pity on him at last, right before I pound into his beautiful body with years of physical need and emotional desire, and months of sexual frustration.

----

"Would you like a blindfold?" Snape whispers in my ear.

"I- I don't know."

"Turn this way then, " he says and has me face his headboard on my hands and knees. I'm confused at first. Then I realize what he means to do. I know why he does not want to look at me and not for the first time curse my father's face and my mother's eyes. I believe for a moment that maybe he could love me if I just looked like someone else. Then I realize that if he loved me he wouldn't care what I look like.

All the same, he makes this feel like love. He is so gentle, so generous in his physical affection. No one has touched me like he is touching me with his sort of reverence, attention to detail, and care. He prepares me like he prepares a potion, meticulously, as if he were in no hurry, as if he were not hard already. I wish I could see his body. The glimpse I caught was tantalizing. I want to touch him. I want to learn about his life by comparing scars. I wish I could see the expression on his face while he is preparing me. I'd need glasses for that and then I'd look even more like James. I believe maybe, if I ask him-

"Please-"

"Shush now. I promise that I will not cause you pain."

His hands begin to stroke along the sides of my body down my thighs, up between my legs, over my back. I know I had a question but can't remember what it was now. I feel him suddenly, blunt and wide against my entrance and gasp. He doesn't push into me, though. He kisses my back and my neck instead. He reaches around me and takes me in his hand. Stars, I nearly come when he gives me the gentlest squeeze. I'm proud of myself when I just whimper and bury my face in his pillow that smells like whispers and secrets. He holds me around the base and says, "My hand remains here. If you want the pleasure of it you'll have to push back and give me the pleasure of being inside you."

Somehow I get my arms to support my weight and rock backwards with enough force to impale myself on him completely. He's right. It doesn't hurt. I only feel full and close to him in a way I have no words to explain. I wonder what's in the cream he's applied inside me and if he taught us how to make that in Potions when my mind was wandering. Hermione would know. Not like I can ask either of them. He grabs my hips to hold me still pressed right up against him.

"So tight," he says in a strained voice then sucks a breath through his teeth.

"I'm sorry."

He laughs softly then pulls back and thrusts into me and then changes his angle slightly and does it again which makes me fall forward again and moan into the pillow. Once he finds that spot there is no stopping him, not that I'd want to stop him but if I did I'd never find the words. I wonder if I'll last an entire minute. I don't think I do. When I start to come he knows and wanks me off at the same time until I'm sure I have spilled every single drop in me and am shaking, twitching, and sweating, bucking against him involuntarily. I believe I'm dying with the pleasure of this and couldn't care less. When I realize that it's not over, I never want it to end. He just keeps on hitting my spot holding me tight around the base. Gods, I'm getting hard again in his hand!

-----

I make him come five times. I believe it to be a satisfactory number even for a seventeen year old wizard. At any rate, by the time I come he seems content to lie on his side pressed against my chest as I tickle patterns on his stomach with my fingers. I am surprised that he does not sleep. I am not surprised that he chooses not to look at me. I consider entering his mind but can not bear the thought of violating him further though I know he would never notice.

He reaches to the bedside table and retrieves his glasses. He looks at them a moment, but does not put them on.

"Um, maybe we can do the blindfold thing next time?"

Rage. Pure unadulterated rage courses through me. I say nothing at first but withdraw my hand from his hip. He still does not glance in my direction though I doubt he could see a hand in front of his face without those blasted glasses.

"What makes you think there will be a next time?"

He opens his mouth then closes it again. He looks down again at his glasses, or his hands, or perhaps just in the general direction.

"I'll be going then," he whispers.

He finds his wand first then flicks it to dress himself. I do the same. He opens the door silently and closes it the same way without looking back.

-----

When I leave I don't know what to do or where to go. I almost knock on his door again. I go to the prefects' bath instead and sit until I'm way past clean and starting to shrivel. I feel worse than when I went to Snape. I should have known when I kissed him that he'd just use me. I want to get back at him but can't think straight. I wish I could talk to Hermione and Ron. I can't of course. They'd go to the Headmaster and get him sacked. That would just be doing Snape a favor. I don't even want to fight him. I want- I want to make him feel for me the way I feel about him. How sad is that? He can't even see me. He sees James Potter the bully and Potter's girlfriend who pitied him so much he called her a mudblood. As furious as Hermione makes him, he has never called her that. If I were someone else not Harry fucking Potter maybe I could get him to touch me again. Maybe he'd think I was worth something.

"What could I ever be worth to a Slytherin?"

----

That's when Harry's plan slithered in ever so sneakily and settled into a slight smile lighting his green eyes and giving him the incentive he needed to climb out of the tub and fix himself up.

Three hours later after shagging Draco Malfoy in Malfoy's bed, Harry Potter was exactly where he wanted to be, up against a wall in the dungeon corridor, looking over Draco's shoulder into the black eyes of a very irate Potions Master. Draco was talking to him, stroking his hair, smiling every time Harry's eyes met his. Harry was pleased with his choice. Draco was gorgeous, wealthy, young, and every bit as much a Slytherin as Severus bloody Snape! Every now and then he'd smile at Draco or nod, though he couldn't hear a word because Snape was really looking at him now, really looking. Harry was certain Snape wasn't seeing James or Lily or anyone other than Harry fucking Potter! Snape could have broken up their sweet little scene. He could have sent Draco away and dragged Harry back to Snape's rooms. He could have docked a thousand points from Gryffindor and given him detention for the remainder of the year. Snape did none of these things. What he did was narrow his eyes and glare into Harry Potter's soul.

That's when something Draco Malfoy said finally meant something.

"I love you Harry," said Draco.

Harry's jaw dropped. Snape smiled a very nasty smile and simply walked away with a spring in his step. Harry was caught between the urge to run after Snape and the need to make sense of what Draco Malfoy had just told him.

"I know it's sudden. I'm sorry about that. It's just that- I think I've loved you for a long time. I didn't know what it was, Harry. I've never loved anyone before. I knew I had feelings for you that I couldn't sort out. It made me angry at you and at myself. I think part of my problem was that I never imagined that you might feel anything for me. No one ever has before. Not really. You're so good, Harry- brave, true and pure. I didn't think I deserved anyone like you. I don't deserve you. I think I could, though. I think I have it in me to become a person who would be worthy of you some day. I want to try. I could be brave for you and good for you. I'll always take care of you. I won't let you face all this alone. I guess what I'm saying is that I'll fight for you, beside you. I'll fight for the Light for you. That's better than all that fighting we've been doing. Don't you think?"

-----

All I could think about was that nasty smile on Snape's lips. Snape knew I was just like him and using Draco the same way he used me. No. Not the same way. This was worse. I look into Draco's eyes. They are guileless, dilated with passion, and at the same time, agitated and wary of disappointment. Mainly they glimmer with something that I remember. It is hope. I stroke my thumb down Draco's cheek and smile just a bit sadly when he closes his eyes and presses into my touch.

One of the three of us could be happy, at least for a little while. It really doesn't matter if I pretend that Draco is Snape inside of me. I've already convinced him that doggy style is my very favorite position. Perhaps I might wear that blindfold after all.

Maybe I could learn to love Draco, some day if we both live long enough. Or maybe I can just let Draco be happy for a week. That seems more than fair. What did I get? A couple of hours this afternoon? Snape might have received even less happiness than that in his life.

"Draco, I believe I might love you, too."

-thanks just for reading. If you are so inclined I'd love to hear from you! Even the heat on high flame from Hell is most welcome here, though I keep asking and never seem to receive one- ( well, I have now) All reviewers do tend to distract me with their innate beauty!


	2. Chapter 2

To reviewers of the first part, I adore you my lovelies!

ura-hd- Sorry. I'm sure I've disappointed you. I have a nasty, vicious muse I dare not cross. Thank you for reviewing!  
dreamerswaking- Thank you. I've disappointed you too. I'm sorry. I did love your ideas, but see muse comment above.  
Hambares- Thank you for your continuing readership! Your reviews make me happy. Sorry I made you sad. I hope this helps.  
animegurl88- Thanks! Hope you like the second part too!  
Haunt of twilight- I agree I think Snape sees 20/20 and far more than Harry imagines. I do think in dealing with people it all gets filtered through the distorting lens of his expectations. Given what we know of his history we can hardly blame him if his expectations hover somewhere around zero. Thanks for your comments!  
Crystan Crepsley- Thanks! Here's your update, dear!

Part Two

That night Draco crept to an unused portion of the dungeons. He retrieved the crystal ball from his bag and tapped it with his wand. A few seconds later, the face of his father appeared in the ball.

"Draco. I am hosting the Minister tonight. I trust this is important?"

"Yes Father. I did it. I seduced Potter."

"Finally. Have you gained his trust?"

"Yes Father. I played it exactly as you told me. Potter said he loves me too."

"You did well, my son. We now have leverage. You know what to do. Keep Potter close. Attempt to turn him against his friends. Make him as dependent as possible upon you. Stage incidents with the other Slytherins. Run to his defense. You know the sort of thing. You have disappointed me in the past, Draco. Do not fail me in this."

"I won't fail you, Father."

"Draco, I will be most displeased if you do."

"I won't disappoint you again, Father."

"See to it. Update me every evening on your progress."

Snape watched as Draco stood looking at the crystal long after Lucius had returned to his guests.

When Snape was certain there was nothing of further use to glean, he wordlessly cast a Slippery Charm, scraped the bottom of his boot against the stone as if he had only just arrived and said, "Draco?"

Draco started and lost his hold on the crystal. It smashed on the stone sending the shards of his future in all directions.

"Oh no."

"My apologies. Are you all right?"

"Yes I'm fine, Professor," said Draco who looked positively pale, even for a Malfoy.

"Reparo," said Snape, well aware that the Communication Charm would not survive the fall. "Accio Draco's crystal ball." Snape handed the intact ball back to the boy.

"Thank you sir."

"If I were you, I wouldn't concentrate too much effort on Divination, Draco. I'd worry about my future in Potions."

"Yes Professor. That sounds like brilliant advice."

"You really don't look well."

"I'm well, sir. Just a little tired."

"You should get some rest."

"I was about to call it a night."

"Goodnight then."

"Goodnight Professor Snape."

Draco watched Snape leave and heard the slight scrape Snape's boot made as he rounded the corner. He was not sure why he was sure, but gut instinct told him that Snape could not have overheard. Draco was sure it wouldn't matter if he had, though. Draco would have to owl his father to inform him about the accident regarding the crystal and the ruined Communication Charm that Lucius had so carefully placed on it. That gave Draco several hours to decide how best to make the accident someone else's fault entirely. Perhaps he should go wake Goyle now, tell him to hold the crystal ball for him, then cast a Slippery Charm on it. If there were one area where Draco was an expert, it was making every lie he told his father into an absolute truth.

---------

Snape was returning to his rooms and was about to cross his wards when he tripped over something entirely invisible.

"Potter, I presume. To what bit of teenaged melodrama do I owe this honor?"

Part of the cloak dropped away. "I needed to speak with you, sir. Please, it's important."

"Enter."

When the door closed behind them and Snape had warded and Silenced the room, he turned to Harry. "You have five minutes."

"What you saw in the hall. It wasn't what it looked like."

"I don't care, Potter. You said this was important."

"I think Draco is up to something, sir. That was me just going along, to see what I could find out."

"Draco is trying to gain your confidence, wedge himself between you and your friends, make you dependent upon him, use the other Slytherins to appear to be defending you, all at his father's behest, who hopes to use Draco's leverage with you to discredit my own efforts in the castle, and thereby gain more favor with the Dark Lord."

"How do you know all that?"

"It's what I do, Potter. I overheard him talking with Lucius via a Communication Charm on his crystal ball."

"Crystal ball? Draco doesn't even take Divination!"

"No, but he is a wizard. Did you think only Trelawney was allowed to own one?"

"I wanted to make you jealous, sir."

"What a pity you did not succeed."

"Please."

"Please what, Potter?"

"Please give me another chance?"

"Another chance at what?"

"In bed, please?"

"Is that what this is about?"

"Yes! I didn't even know Draco was up to something! That was just a story I cooked up sitting there waiting for you. Look, the only reason I had anything to do with Draco was to make you want me. So please want me, so I won't have to go do something even more stupid."

"Your five minutes have expired. Get out."

Harry sighed, picked up the Invisiblity Cloak and disappeared completely. He was about to open the door, but took one last look back. Snape was seated, hands steepled, and there, just playing on the corner of his lip, was a smile.

"Goodnight sir. May I come back tomorrow?"

"That all depends. Did you engage in sexual relations with Draco?"

"No sir."

"I'll expect you tonight at ten, Potter. Do not be late."

"Er, what time is it?"

"You have one hour Potter. Do use it to shower. You reek of Draco Malfoy. An odd coincidence, I'm certain you'll agree, as he smelled exactly like you."

"I didn't think you'd let me come back unless I lied to you."

"Immovable idiot."

"Irresistible bastard."

"Fifty nine minutes, Potter."

"Yes sir."

-Well I thought this was a one shot. It wasn't! I believe it might be complete now but who knows? Hope you enjoyed it. Thank you just for reading! All comments are more welcome than a bus load of galleonnaires at my big hat, black robes, and pointy shoe auction. In fact, get out, the whole bus load of you lot! Make some room for my reviewers!


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